Wednesday, March 05, 2008

That was dumb

To cut to the chase, a couple years ago, two people I thought were friends snubbed me. It hurt, a lot. So last fall, at a party, I returned the favor.

I cringe that I am admitting this at all, it seems so ridiculous now - but it looks like I may be working with one of these people again, and frankly, it's past time to mend the rift.

So I am wondering how to crawl back up from that pit, to make amends and move on. Well, not to make amends, exactly, because we were both in the wrong. But I do want to explain my part of it, explain why I acted the way I did. I want to apologize for my own behavior without expectation of any reciprocal move on their part, so we can hopefully move past it without rancor.

But how do you pick up the phone and do that? Or do you send an email saying "Glasnost - let's have coffee"? How do you apologize for something without completely turning your back on yourself? There's a lot of history here, which is part of the problem. Glasnost or no, we'll never be what we were. But does that mean we can't have any relationship at all?

Am befuddled. Do comment or email. Thanks.


Blogger h a i k u g i r l said...

In lieu of pancakes and talking over pancakes, from Texas I offer you this advice. I think you slather her in BBQ sauce and then hog tie her ... wait, wait. Something's wrong here. I think it's the Texas toast I ate immediately upon landing. It's messing wiff me heed.

How about this. An actual card! Do you have time to send an old fashioned snail mail note saying that you are sorry for the transgressions of the past, you miss her and would like to start anew. Then buy her a latte and give her a hug and let the past be just that, the past.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Brooke, I second the snail mail. I had a major falling out with my female soul mate, the one who I would have married if I was gay. Email left too much up for translation. Phone calls got too choked up. History was so long and so far back that it was impossible. So I wrote a letter. A brief letter stating that I knew we'd moved past the relationship we had, but that I wondered what kind of relationship we could have moving forward if we just both showed up and spoke honestly. The next phone call was tough but also magic. We're carving out a whole new love and I'm so grateful.

So that's my two and a half cents...good luck with it. It's so hard. But so worth it. No matter the outcome. hugs, lady.

1:42 PM  

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