Now I smell like a whorehouse

I ordered some moisturizer from Sephora the other day, and in the box when it arrived was a sample of perfume - Kenzo Amour, some floral musky thing. I thought, "Hmm, nice," and decided to try it out. The cap on the little sample tube thing was stuck, though, so I pulled hard and ended up spraying myself in the face with Kenzo Amour. Now I smell like a professional.

In other news, my friend Jen and I have decided to build a wooden sloop and name it the SS Goat's Balls. We figure we will be the darlings of the cruising world. People will buy us beer just on our charm alone - and the way we say the name of our sailboat, as if we were saying champagne cocktail or garden party. We will give hula lessons in exchange for diesel, and we will live off conch and shrimp, as our skin tans to leather and our husbands search in vain for us.

All of this, of course, will take place in the Bahamas.

That is all.